Ever find yourself watching a horror movie and end up thinking about what you would use to survive the film until the end? Well that is the pitch brought to be by Man Crates. Man Crates, in case you haven’t heard of them, is a new gifting company who provide a wide array of cool gifts for men that literally require a crowbar to open. How bad-ass is that? Anyway, I’ve put together a list of the items I would deem essential if I received a Man Crate with items needed to survive a horror movie. Now since I won’t know immediately what kind of horror scenario I will be dealing with, I tried to cover my bases. I’ve also limited it to items that will fit into a crate. There are so many items I would have wanted to include on this list: a flashlight, solar battery charger, silver-tipped stakes, night-vision goggles, a bottle of rum, a trusty sidekick who has my back (or can be sacrificed if need be (just kidding… maybe)), my 3DS, etc. However, seeing as this is a fave five list, I had to really narrow it down to what I think were the most multipurpose items. So without wasting any more of your time with the introduction, here are my five favorite essential horror survival items.
5) A Jeep
It’s a big crate… Just go with it, OK? Transportation is super, super important when it comes to horror survival. How fast you can navigate your environment is what keeps you alive. At first, I considered a motorcycle for this slot because of its maneuverability. However, the off-road capabilities of a Jeep are almost more important. Although a motorcycle could get around tighter spaces, it can’t cover as many types of terrain as a Jeep can. Also, there is more room for supplies in a Jeep. And if absolutely necessary, a Jeep can be reinforced and act as a safe hideaway.
Being able to keep a safe distance between you and whatever is trying to get you is another essential element of survival. Therefore, having trusty firearms at your side is a must. The two most important are a shotgun, when you just need to make sure whatever it is you’re shooting at doesn’t get up and a hand gun when precision is needed. Other types of guns help too, such as a rifle, to take out your pursuer from a distance and, though technically not a firearm, a bow would be great for when the situation calls for stealth. And to keep in mind the double-use of items, the arrowheads can be dipped in silver, or holy water, or many other items that would help in a wide array of situations. just be mindful of ammunition usage, as it would most likely be scarce, making it a hot commodity.
As important as keeping a distance between you and the vampire, werewolf, zombie, alien invader, or what have you, can be, sometimes things just get up close and personal and you have to be ready. Enter the machete. A strong and sturdy weapon for slicing and dicing whatever comes your way. Not only is it good for beheading zombies but it’s also great for starting fires, cutting food, clearing away foliage (particularly helpful if you happen to be in a jungle). Also, the profile is relatively small so a machete would be very easy to carry around.
The last thing you want is to get stuck in a situation without the right clothing. Whether you are in an urban area, the jungle, the tundra, or the desert, what you wear is almost as important as the weapons you carry with you. Preferably, there would be several sets of padded clothes to protect against bites and scratches that could potentially turn you into a monster or a possible life-threatening wound. Having many changes of fresh clothes is important, too, to keep yourself clean and prevent attracting monsters with a heightened sense of smell. Extra clothes can also be used as decoys, or when you have to hide someplace dirty, it’s handy to have a fresh set of clothes. It’s often overlooked but clothes are just an important part of survival as many other items on this list.
1) First-Aid Kit
No matter how hard you try, injuries happen. In order to keep yourself in tip-top shape, and to keep yourself moving, it’s important to mend any injuries as soon as possible. A first-aid kit is an absolutely necessity to survive a wide range of scenarios. Whether it’s a small cut or large gash, how quickly and how well you can attend to the wound can be the difference between life and death. Even the smallest cut carries the risk of getting infected and that’s the last thing you need while trying to survive a horror situation. All the tools in the world can’t help you if you are in no condition to use them. I couldn’t think of any horror setting I would dare go into without a trusty first-aid kit by my side.
And there you have it. My toolbox for surviving a plethora of horror film scenarios. What items would you include in your horror survival Man Crate?